A New Bunty...beginning

The day is as usual as the sun lightening the building, the street and finally the dog that begins his mornings with barking upon the sun. This way he feels he has the right to bark at anyone. Day in and day out, the barking continues without any halt. This noise pollution comes with the natural embarrassment to the owner of this dog whose name I won’t disclose. Defamation should always be the right of dogs and not just humans. This would be the parallel universe be like.

One day Bunty, the dog owner, started with his usual habit of starting the day. He often does it by taking his dog to do shit in the street of uncle Chaddha, in the name of taking the dog to walk. For uncle Chaddha it isn’t just the “cake walk” to pass through the street while going for his shop but also a gesture of hatred for Bunty’s father’s ignorance of giving birth to such a jerk. This is the everyday routine that uncle Chaddha hates to follow. But the sheer pleasure of disproving other’s son is the feeling that uncle Chaddha could not resist to welcome.

One fine morning, both Bunty and uncle Chaddha are prepared to wage on the cold war as part of their usual habit. But the previous day lesson from uncle Chaddha wasn’t the same, usual rote. Bunty looks convinced with uncle Chaddha’s lesson. It seems he has subscribed to a motivational speaker and has copied the exact words from the source, while committing severe mistakes in the usage of articles. The lecture has stilled in him the feeling of bravery and a sense of doing something worthwhile. A worthwhile thing means correcting the mistakes he has been ever committing.

Bunty was a bit confused after having smashed uncle Chaddha’s glass for 23 times. He never had a doubt about the person’s window whose glass he would gust with sixes during the cricket match. He had a clear mind, which he finds filling up with the impressive use of English from uncle Chaddha last evening.

Something rare is going to happen when Bunty went on to the late morning walk with his dog and crossed the street without turning into the street where uncle Chaddha lives and squeals. Uncle Chaddha has struck the right chord in Bunty and that too at the perfect time when the New Year is about to come. Bunty knows well that at this time of year end, something called as “new-year-resolution” starts trending. This was the habit of his college friends even, with whom he passed Bachelor of Commerce. That day he posted some 50 selfies with the proud of being the first person from his family who passed college with the same batch of students, he was admitted with.

Bunty is sure that he’ll do the thing in advance and will keep it for FB post, later when the new year is nearer. He choose not to wait for new year to bring up with a new resolution—that he’ll never break the window panes of uncle Chaddha’s house and that he’ll find a new place where his dog can perform  daily commitments of the morning. Bunty wanted to turn his world upside down. He looked on for turning his life around without having to wait for the New Year.

That’s how with his commitment, Bunty started a new life with a zeal of doing good work. Impressed by uncle Chaddha’s English usage of that day, he sought an idea of melting the ice between uncle and his father. He instantly waged on to convince his father for English tuition from uncle Chaddha. And with uncle Chaddha’s guidance, he plans to trend like the “New Year resolution”.

Such is the importance of one fine day and person in our life. A moment is not only new when it’s New Year. Every moment that comes with the New Year is always new, depending on one’s willingness of how long one can keep it polished. The new-ness isn’t on the Year. It’s in us.

When my smart phone went missing..

With fused eyes of a bulb came my friend who had lost his smart phone to me. Hah..He lost. What a loser. He had to lose the phone as per the bet and that I’ll now carry on my office-financed plane trip to Bangalore.

I took the phone and put my sim card with a feeling of pride. After all, I had won. I have never been a winner what a win have I registered this time. I could have registered a better way of showing what-a-smart-phone I have to my pears but I need to get busy with presentation preparations. I took off. And reached showing my phone to the most I can show off.

Finally my executive class like feel came to a swift end when I landed in Bangalore. I had to get to the location which I had previously saved with maps from Google in my smart phone. On reaching out to my pocket, all to my surprise I was asking “where is my smart phone?” It’s not that I want to show it off this time but actually I need it. I was out of route on the airport itself. To my awe I wondered how I would even get the heck out of this place. God save me! At the same time I had the envy of seeing everyone appearing smart with their smart phones. But I was a dumb goof here.

Now, I had to figure out the location myself without even a single contact in my memory. I started remembering the coveted letters of the word. But so thankful to my just 2-hour smart phone, I didn’t bother checking the messages. Soon I realised how important this presentation was for me. “Work is the real stress buster”, I noticed saying someone, again on phone. The huge clock at the airport became all known for its purpose of hanging in there. It’s for the geeks who miss their phone and didn’t give a damn that trees are still cut down for making paper sheets. I was submissive to this thought but smart phone was enough to make my ignorant part become visible again.

I came out of the airport while keep on asking names of the place. But I was as new to Bangalore as Kannada named places were for me. I have heard people stumble in English but I had a different language to stumble at such a crucial point when I could be fired. I ventured into a taxi as after watching faces of 23 Kannada taxi drivers, one agreed to pronounce and took me to the destination. But soon to me surprise, I found how dumb one could be. I landed at the wrong place. The driver was very correct with the few place identifying words I spelt. Now he was gone. How good people could be. But I was behind the screen of the smart phone most of the time.

Next I approached a police man with curvy hat. I mistook him for being in jolly mood and enquired about the closely named place to what I pronounced. He showed me the same place where taxi driver had dropped me. To my worry I noticed that am already late. I began asking people for the closely-pronounced-and-named-place. On the street soon my eyes met with the guy who I had seen in my Delhi office. I reached out to him but owing to the rush I had to chase him for some 6 minutes. He then took notice that he was been chased. He responded defensively but I comforted him with the complete trail from Delhi to flight and then tragedy of Bangalore. He then agreed to get me a direct auto to the Bangalore location. Finally, I felt like being booked and parcelled for the location. But soon realised how much mischief I had just faced. In the end, all is well that ends well with a slight enlightenment that smart phone are never smart only in the hands of a smart guy.

Anonymous Golden Knight

A wary night with shimmering moon light had the encounter of the city, Rica with a gang of monkey. The monkeys weren’t the ordinary ones. They came in group for shopping in midnight with the clothes they found soaking in moonlight. One monkey was super excited. He was not he but she. The girls are obsessed with gold so was this monkey, Ash. She took some great leaps in her career as a professional monkey that day. Though she wasn’t monkeying around like this always but the night has the speciality that even Baba Rampal could not foretell.

The monkeys went on and on like they had just finished being inspired by the Rise of the Apes flick. And suddenly they are at a Trehan’s news laundry. They later accused their literacy level after venturing into the laundry and not finding any clothes. Ash was disheartened to see a strategy coming down to a tragic end. But she wanted to shop so eagerly that she went on away from the gang. She remembered Thomas Edison and his famous “stick-to-itiveness”.

Just a few jumps on one wall and then the other, she developed appetite. In rush, she touched the water. Ash saw the moon in the pond and criticised times to be so bad that even moon had come down to such a low level. She watched the moon with devil eyes. This particular thing annoyed the moon and it vanished from the place, turning the water to gold polished dust! Ash drank the water and developed the touch of Midas! She rushed excitingly to her gang to narrate whole trail to her mates and went hitting the off-road, touching concrete, mortar, straw, dust and finally climbed on the tree to reach the laundry of Trehan earlier. This turned everything on the way to the dust of gold.

Soon her happiness of so much gold had her being in a gang of wasseypur like people. She thought of that pigeon in the movie that was always claimed to fly by one wing and saving dignity with the other. But soon Ash remembered her Midas touch. She now had a weapon that was as equally an ornament. A weapon of gold! What more can a female monkey expect. Ash well defended herself just with the Midas touch and soon every enemy was turned into gold.

Ash stared at the moon and asked what more penalties had she to pay to meet her gang, her family. The gold had rushed on to her but she wasn’t too desperate for shopping than to meet her gang. She soon found way to her place on the tree and was afraid of touching her house tree as it would also turn to gold. She had a doubt. She could live in the home made up of gold. But she had made a sweet home on that tree and it was there she gave birth to baby monkey. The tree breathes, play, live with her children while she was out to bring food. She couldn’t let this home turn to dead gold. She took out a toy of moon shape and asked for penance. She soon found the moon in the sky vanishing in the day light. She was worried. She didn’t know how time fly by and the ray of sun touched upon her house. She wiped her tears and was surprised to see that Midas touch had disappeared! The sunlight came as a ray of surprise for her that morning.

On the other side, in town everyone was surprised seeing the roads, trees, dust and pond of gold! There was a huge riot like situation to rob of gold. Ash also watched this mad rush from some distance and was relieved that she thankfully didn’t go with gold temptation. She had saved her home, her family and earned repute in her gang.

Soon a gang member came with the news of arrest of thieves who were found to have a prize announcement of 2 lakhs. Ash went on with her gang without even bothering about the amount and the credit. She chose to be called “anonymous man-key”.

If I had the Midas touch, I had also decided to act same.

Beginning is not the end!

What can be speared from the shot is the thing that wasn’t desired! The launch of Rosetta a decade before was a desire, the heart trenching flame of reaching the place it was destined for.

One fine day when sun rays were seen as though filtered by the clouds in European sky, Rosetta was getting ready for the journey of her dreams. This trip was going to be memorable as no one from her place had ever reached there which Rosetta had desired for. She wanted to take other things with her but all she possess was the cycle and a basket in it. The basket was empty and though even the space wasn’t the limit for her, she carried crayons along with sheets of white paper to paint the journey as she treads it. Rosetta took sugar candies and squealed on her path, which she knew, was well afar.

On her journey, she could trace all the wonders that she habitably peeked and slept with on most of the nights from her garden. The exquisite trail of stars, the constellations on her path made her journey deeply exciting. Whenever she tried to figure out a constellation, the other confronts her. Such was the pace of her cycle, which seemingly was afloat in the sky. The clouds that were the source of joy in her belly, she could then touch them. Race with them. And finally could overtake them, seeking their good bye for her onward journey of her dreams.

All could be much easier if Rosetta had the idea of the place she was heading for. But that was the special thing about this trip. It was only forward, with no going back.

Rosetta was not brought up to be emotional. She was focused for her destiny. In every way, overcoming all the hardships, she was ready to reach out to the place of her imagination. She wanted to be family with that place.

The journey went on for more than a decade. Passing through different peaks, lows, lights, darks showers and suddenly, Rosetta saw a huge stone type structure! The same as she had painted while travelling.

She stopped her cycle but only to find problem with anchoring the cycle stand and attaching with the hotel. The cycle was on the verge of falling. Rosetta couldn’t let this journey go to vain. She tied her knot to the stone and rented an open space, named “Hotel Comet”, which has always been available but only for the seekers.

Rosetta took out her paintings of journey and sent them back to her place through satellite. The place was so natural that the only source of light was the sun. Rosetta drew a few more paintings of her new “family” and posted them back.

One fine day when the sun was set, she was sitting idly in Hotel Comet to witness her life story. She could not imagine how far had she flung. She could not see how life used to be. She feels more fulfilled now. She had fulfilled her dreams. What she could only see is an amphitheatre of life where she is a minute object that has huge importance for it has reached out to her dreams. For such a realisation, no other place could have her made feel like this as this Hotel Comet. That may be just a hotel for others but for her, it’s her new home. The cosiness of the place makes her feel like a family that had been waiting for only Rosetta since the beginning of life on earth.

A,B,C,Diwali

Diwali - a festival that reminds of home, the cricket-friendly friends and the over-sweetened sweets. Being at home is not a thing to be missed this diwali as over 24 diwalis have been celebrated at home only and that too with relatives, friends etc. seeing all the fun of diwali did remind of the fun I used to have. Watching diwali this time made me miss a new thing rather feeling that never happened before. I felt distant from “being homely” with my childhood. This letter goes to...

Dear Childhood,

Though I know you are not in good stead when you get this letter, this is to let you know without you even am on the bumpy ride of life. Suddenly I had a pause of festivity with diwali and that insist me on writing to my dear old friend.

This diwali I had a great time missing you and home. It has been long time since we last met but still brief meetings happen with you with our favorite chuski-gola. The time when we celebrate diwali, you were heck in the nose. The sweets were so dear to you that we had 3-4 pieces in a go but now I do worry about cavities. Having Google at dispense, I have become smarter than you. Now I don’t buy chocolates. I even don’t offer this luxury to younger generation as am more concerned about their teeth.

Watching the sky with wonderful cracker showers making their mark there has become a good eco-friendly habit that is equally economical. But again with you I had to share the bundles of cracker with my cousins. You always took advantage of being youngest at home in the cracker distribution ceremony. Let me remind you it was your sweetness, not your smartness that had with you more crackers always. I never liked that part as I wanted more share but I wonder how I miss that with my paying capacity. You cannot enjoy with your money. Yes, we used to celebrate in the diwali mela with 10 rupees from grandma. I discontinued going to mela for the sake of spending. Don’t assume that am all boring now. I go there to watch girls and only girls.

After returning home, Lord Rama created Padwa for fools like us. The day on which we were asked by parents to neither read nor write anything. That day was a great treat. But now, I am glad to tell you that I have a 2-day off in a week with enough work to have any exemption from it.

The game of “teen patti” was a regular on every diwali. I couldn’t learn it because of your ignorance. As for now, I have learnt it and have become a big gambler on FB. Well, any time if you are on FB, Twitter, G+, Instagram then do send me invitation. If not then I would suggest don’t grow up. It’s all mess-food here not mother cooked dishes! The world is like that only. The diwali wasn’t like that anymore.

Hope to see you often.

Yours truly,

Ishant

Here's the WOW post which is published at blogadda.com

1 2 3 & 10 minutes!

Getting stuck in an elevator with a beautiful girl has been the part of my fantasy whenever I stepped into an elevator. A beautiful girl in white midi with perfect chiselled features, sharp eye contact....whoa. The train of thought isn’t yet over and what I see next is more fascinating. Don’t know how to handle, what to say and even whether should shut my mouth or let it open, how to even ask for the photo with him. Not that there is no one else but the irony is I am so utterly single to click selfies that I never bothered about having a phone with front cam!

The lady luck of my fantasy is with me today that the lift is stuck, the same lift I engineered before 10 minutes...The same lift into whom SRK ventured while it was about to launch.

Me: Hello, sir!!!

SRK: Hello dude.

I can feel like am at the North Star and my heart is pumping the river of blood, not just the stream.

SRK: O gosh! What happened to this lift! Sigh!!

Me: (with the fear of getting sacked from the job) Helllllllo Sirrr!

SRK: Hello. What happen top this elevator?

That’s the sign of a good actor, it seems. He must have noticed my crumbled expressions and sweat drops on my forehead and has got the hint “This nerd is an engineer”.

Me: (with immense wonder) how do you come to know, sir, that I am an engineer???

SRK: (smiling) that’s on your ID card, dear!

Huh? Embarrassed I thought it’s on the forehead. But he soon comforted me.

SRK: Well, like you Mr. Engineer I am also wondering why is the elevator stuck? What’s your name?

Me: Into...I mean Ishant, sir.

SRK: you look like a typical engineer. You drive the elevator ‘nuts’!

Slight laughter prevailed.

Me: Maybe a bad one...

SRK: But smart enough to have me and the lift stuck.

Amid the stuck elevator, I find myself stuck too. In haste, I dare to offer the handshake.

He reciprocate the same gesture with much warmth in his autograph that literally goaled me!

ASAP, I posted the photo on FB, Twitter and instagram with a status of “being on cloud9”.

Meanwhile, I summarily explained the technicalities of why are we stuck in the elevator. And figured out that it will take around 8 minutes (specifically more accurate than usual) to get out from here.

Me: Can your men supply pizza if you are stuck for longer?

SRK: Have chewing gum. It will delay your appetite. Well pizza! So they can paste me to it and toss up?

Me: Hahaha...What will you prefer to watch football or IPL, if they both are LIVE?

SRK: Football, if you are referring to the WC.

Me: And what if both your favourite teams reach the final? I mean one in football, another in IPL.

SRK: I’ll send you where you would wish to be and watch the other match, sir.

Me: Hahaha... Don’t worry. You can still sort friendship with Aamir and have his tata sky + record set up!

SRK: Haha...

Me: I have never been to the live match. But your energy in stands seems to enlighten the place and where ever you go. What’s the secret?

SRK: Have the passion for your work with “let’s do it” thought. You will find immense energy.

Me: (smiling) Do you feel yourself closer to Allah with your energy?

SRK: Allah, the Almighty, is the energy resource. He created me. It’s His energy that He spreads through me.

Me: (smiling) you know we need energy to put this elevator in motion. But that’s different energy.

And suddenly the jerk puts on the lights and the AC. His men evacuate him and lend help to me too.

He bid “Good bye. See you” and “friend request accepted” message flashed in my phone. It’s he who accepted it.

SRK: Not only energy but my men also work to make your disturb elevator move!!

And the trio moves on...me, SRK and the elevator.

GREAT(!) IDEAS

HOW TO HAVE GREAT(!) IDEAS

Ishant Krishna ‏ @i_ishantkrishna I am confused about the “concept of ideas”. Please  elaborate more on the basics of producing more productive ideas.

ANSWER

I want you to be an idea machine. For the past 20 years all I’ve done is come up with ideas. Most of them bad, horrible. Ugly, stupid. I got thrown out of graduate school for having too many bad ideas. I wrote four unpublished novels. I’ve had 20 businesses in a row fail on me.

I lost the first home I bought. I lost all my money. Fifteen million cash. I went to zero. I was literally crying on the floor while my baby was crawling over to me to get to her toys. I couldn’t get a loan of a few hundred dollars just to ensure I could provide diapers and food for the weekend. From my own parents! Nobody trusted me.

But WHENEVER I’ve been stuck on the floor I knew the only way to kick into action was to start building my idea muscle again. Because it is in those moments that my brain had become smaller, damaged, and my idea muscle had atrophied. And from that moment it takes six months (on average) to 100% change my life around.

If you were sick in bed for ten days and then tried to walk you wouldn’t be able to. How come? Because your leg muscles have atrophied. Just two weeks of non-use and you might need six months of therapy to walk normally again.

We’re in a world that is running 1000 miles per hour. If you let your leg muscles atrophy you will get left behind.

The idea muscles in your mind are the EXACT same way. They atrophy in about ten days of non-use.

STEP 1: WRITE A LIST EVERY DAY OF IDEAS

So start now, every day list 10 ideas. I make a list every day. It can be a list on anything. Today I did a list of 10 kindle singles I can write. One of them I will pick and do within the next 2-3 weeks.

The other day I did a list of ideas I could maybe use as standup material.

The day before that I did a list of 5 Ways in which Procrastination is Great.

In my first successful business, Reset, I would come up with 10 ideas a day for each of my clients. Ideas that could help them improve their websites.

In my business, Stockpickr, I would come up with at least 10 new ideas for features every day.

(i have 100s of waiters pads lying around with ideas listed from the past 20 years)

When I was running my fund of funds I would come up with 10 ideas a day to get new clients.

Other days I make list of businesses I can start. And some days I make list of features that can be added to businesses I’ve already started. Or blog post ideas. I have 80 blog posts in my Drafts folders as a result. Most of them have good lists but I’m not satisfied with the writing yet.

So what happens after a year: you have 3650 ideas. Out of those maybe one or two might be decent.

BUT, the more you do it, the better the muscle is. Then people will start saying, “Man, you are an IDEA MACHINE!”

I want you to be an idea machine. I really want it for selfish reasons. I need some help on something. Once you are ready you can give me ideas on where this blog is going.

STEP 2: WHAT IS AN IDEA? An idea is not just “I will start an airline for outerspace”. That may or may not be a good idea. An idea is a tuplet. It looks like this:

[idea, spec of the whole idea, next step to execute, timeline]

So, for instance, if I have an idea for a Kindle Single it might look like

["I am Running for Vice-President" kindle single, (then I list the table of contents), expand these 5 blog posts and then write X,Y,Z original material, download the kindle single guidelines from Amazon and then put the text in the right format and upload to Amazon, I can work on it for 3 hours a day and be done by next week]

THAT is a full idea. Write ten of those.

STEP 3: IDEAS HAVE SEX JUST LIKE PEOPLE DO. AND ITS VERY PORNOGRAPHIC

I bet you didn’t know that ideas have sex. And they have children.

The more ideas you have running around in your little rabbit cage, the more rabbits you will get. And generations evolve fast. When I started Stockpickr it was the mating of my ideas on the Internet with my ideas for a new hedge fund. The best ideas always come from mating. Think of Hollywood. When they pitch an idea its never just “I have this idea”. Its always “It’s “James Bond” meets “the Titanic” ”

Hollywood pitches are all about mating ideas. Ditto for Silicon Valley pitches. Ditto for any pitch. Why can’t people say, “its like James Bond”. Because James Bond has already been done. But when you says “its like X +Y”  then people all lean back and their beautiful imaginations begin to dance with your idea. What does it look like when you mate X and Y. Its IDEA PORNOGRAPHY! Its art. Its beauty.

(the art of Steampunk is a beautiful mating of ideas)

Let’s look at Google! The best company in the world.

Google came from ideas in search (which was a failing industry at the time) mating with ideas about what makes scientific research papers important (how many citations from other papers refer to a paper). These were totally separate ideas that had never been mated before. And guess who came up with the idea? Did you just think Larry Page!? WRONG! Did you think Robin Li, who started Baidu? Then yes! But he was working at Dow Jones at the time who couldn’t figure out what to do with his idea. So he left the one company that reports on capitalism, he left the most capitalist country in the world for the most communist country, and set up his company there.

How come? Because ideas have no geographic boundaries.

STEP FOUR: PASSION

You can have a one night stand. But if you don’t have true passion for an idea you’ll never get married and have children.

It’s ok to not have passion. You have 3650 ideas per year. If you had passion for each idea I’d say you were an idea slut. Just relax already.

When you have passion here’s what happens:

A) you read everything you can about the history of the idea.

B) you read everything you can about the science of the idea.

C) you build the idea. Now your idea is not just one idea but 100s. It’s a family of ideas. Passion multiplies an idea very quickly. Because every day you are coming up with ten new ideas to make your original idea better. You are coming up with features, design ideas, distribution ideas.

I will give you an example. I have an idea. Every day I’m coming up with ideas to add to the original idea: gamification, voyeurism, distribution, other ways that I can help people with the idea, other groups of people I can help and how, ideas for the UI, ideas to add content, ideas for people I can involve, ideas for partnership. And I read books every day about different aspects of  the idea.

And STILL the idea might not work. But I have passion for it.

What does passion really mean?

It means two things. That you are in love. And also that nobody can beat you. When I started Stockpickr I had passion for it. Some business school students out of Stanford had a similar idea. They lost badly. Because they thought this could be like a school project. You don’t date and marry a beautiful girl because it’s a homework assignment. You do it because you have passion for her and you want to do everything you can to make sure she’s happy.

(I wanted to make a better racquet for Maria but I didn't have the passion)

Another example. A friend of mine had an idea for a new type of tennis racquet. I liked the idea. I bought all sorts of books about the science of making a tennis racquet plus the history of it. And then you know what? I got bored by the fifth date. I lost the passion. So I stopped. And now I have all this useless knowledge in my head of how to build a tennis racquet. But you know? Maybe ten years from now that knowledge will mate with another idea and the Messiah of all ideas could be born.

You never know.

So I am going to tell you what to do right now (a summary of above) and in six months your life will be completely different.

A) eat healthy, sleep a lot, and exercise. Your body needs to have oxygen and blood flowing properly to your brain to come up with ideas.

B) get rid of all negative people. They will turn your ideas into vomit before the words even leave your mouth.

C) make a list of ten ideas per day as described EXACTLY above. Keep track of all your ideas. I have ideas from 2002 I think are good that I still have not implemented yet but I know I will.

D) Be grateful you have this opportunity to come up with ten ideas a day. Say “thanks, world, for letting me do this.”

E) And wait. Be patient. Don’t criticize your ideas. A bad father can produce a beautiful son. Every idea has healthy sperm. Your first few ideas once you start following this post, are like the first few times you had sex (uhhh, if you are anything like me). They usually involve some sort of apology. But at least you are no longer a virgin. Now go forth and multiply!

F) If your ideas require research, then read. Wikipedia is a good start. Never stop reading. But what you read is important. If you read shit then your brain will become malnourished. I will put together a good reading list. But you already know what is good for you and what isn’t.

You are an IDEA MACHINE! An Idea Warrior. Now your body and mind must flourish and you must do all of the above. Then success and dreams will come true. How much time will it take? If you do the above: six months for at least one good idea. Six months and your life will be completely different. Give yourself about 3-5 years to get rich. But never be upset about the pace.

You are the idea warrior, about to conquer great worlds and kingdoms in other dimensions other than this meager and petty one. I am envious of the adventure you will embark on. Because it will be exciting and the first time you realize that ideas that spring out of your head are actually helping people will be the best moment in your life. I know because I’ve been there. And I’m never going to stop.

THANKS JAMES ALTUCHER FOR THE MENTION AND THE EFFICIENT SUGGESTION.

Just like that

ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKE JACK A DULL BOY.

Wat lazy?????

I  have been under a lot of work load since my parents pleasured themselves wid d most arrogant n unstoppable form of love-SEX…………

The first fight that  I had 2 win 2 b born was wid my would b brothers,sisters & neuters. Out of the sets of 23 chromosomes of my mother & father, the chances of my birth were just 0.000000000000000000000000000000004789164687 but thank God for bringing an idiot into this world.

 With the fury voice, came in a lady ,who participated in the event of bringing me to this world wid a guy known as her husband, my sweetest mummaaaaaaaaaa……….. she had instructed me like a doctor 2 consult a doctor. But like d most undesirable patient, I was refusing her words only until before this time. She was well aware of my common sayings and this time she was creative enough 2 carry me 2 the doctor in the not so nice dress 2 b in, in this age. Well I wore big old capry alongwid a pokemon T, which was mumma’s favourite but I would hv hated d creator of pokemon even she would b d most beautiful girl of the universe. Bt gud girls can’t do bad things. That’s my trust. Being an engineer, my brain can b taken 2 work like an engine. The reason 4 hating the word pokemon was mumma used 2 call me with this metaphor since I was 6 bcoz I was an excellent excretor of that time and appeared 2 love toilet more than any other place.

 Well my meeting with the doctor  was good but I was suspecting him of  taking bribe from my mumma, just for suggesting me a 6 weeks break from my work. He was continuously adding more sugar 2 the saturated solution.

 Doc-Dear, you are suffering from the most common disease of work overload. So recommend you 2 go for holidays 2 any place which is known for its’ vicinity 2 d nature like Kashmir, Shimla, Kerala etc.

 I was very keen 2 get out of this hell clinic and wished for the doctors’ CLINIC ALL CLEAR! Also, doctor roaming around my house 2 let him assist my servant in her work.

 Me- Don’t take fucking advice….. Oops!! Sorry!! Advice carefully. There are a lot of medicines available in the market, they work for others, they’ll work for me too but only if I take them. That fuc…. Oh no!! Sorry again, doctor forgot the name of such medicines and hence just 2 keep his head high, he gave us such an advice.

 My words were going like the bows flow in the show based ion Hindu epic “Mahabharata”.

 Mumma- Take me to the travel agent or let me go….(The later option is always undesirable and action provoking for a good son like me).

 Now my tickets 2 Kashmir were booked and I had submitted the medical prescription of the doctor. This is the most usual way of taking leaves in my office.

 On the airport, my mumma came alongwid my father and my darling girlfrnd. I was expecting my mumma 2 stop me from going in the filmy style. But……….